What a fantastic experience my “Learn Nothing New” challenge was. I learned that I don’t have much extra time in a week after kids, house, business, yoga, so… I must use that time exceptionally well. I could see that I’d been dipping in and out of things, attracted over here by bright shiny objects (emails) and losing touch with my own wisdom. I definitely missing audio the most during the challenge – it is my companion in the car and around the place. I started feeling withdrawal symptoms from podcasts! Easter fell during the Challenge and I had a fantastic time away being in nature and not doing much at all. I re-read the fiction book of my favourite movie “Like Water for Chocolate”, which was fun.
As March was coming to an end, I contemplated a new challenge for April. After a particularly enlightening healing session with Jenny, I knew straight away that my April challenge would be to increase my connection with my boys.
From 1 April, I did not load Facebook on my phone, but I did start listening to podcasts/audio books and reading books and emails BUT, only about topics to do with children. All other newsletter type emails are deleted. I realised listening to content didn’t use up extra time, (eg, driving, hanging out clothes etc), as long as I was mindful not to always reach for my iphone to listen to something, and instead be happy just with myself and my own thoughts.
What an interesting 2 weeks it has been so far!! It started with the book “Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings” by Dr Laura Markham. She predicts “parenting gets a lot easier when we as parents can do three very hard things:
- Regulate our own emotions
- Stay connected with our child, even when we are setting limits or the child is upset
- Coach instead of controlling, by fostering emotional intelligence, guiding with emphatic limits instead of punishment, and supporting mastery
Reading Dr Markham’s book has had a profound effect on me. I feel calmer as a mother and more fulfilled. I feel more connected to the boys, and I was amazed how quickly things can change. With Jenny I did lots of work letting go of my judgements of Jack – I realise how powerful that was. I thought I wanted Jack to change for his own benefit, but I can see I wasn’t accepting the beautiful boy who was in front of me.
I downloaded 3 parenting audible books “Parenting with Presence” by Susan Stiffelman, Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordon and The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary. They’ve all had different messages and I’m still absorbing all the material, but the overall theme is connecting and trusting the boys wisdom. How bless I am to have 3 little teachers in my house.